Been there done that, would you take the plunge again. Becoming a parent is a very big responsibility and most couples are in constant dilemma about having a second child. It is a very important decision and couples must always agree with each other, making it a mutual decision.
Here are a few points that may help you out-
You already have one child, so you understand the responsibility it comes with it and not forgetting the sleepless nights, teething issues, colic and so on plus loads of smiles, love,laughter that it brings along. However, if you do decide to have another child, keep in mind both your kids will demand your full attention and double the amount of effort in everything you do. Depending upon the age difference between each child, at times if there is age gap between siblings; it could prove to be helpful and younger one would always look up to their elder sibling. But at times it would get very difficult to handle both the children at once. So if help is available in the form grandparents, then nothing like it because it will be good for a child’s mental and emotional development. Also one can opt for domestic assistance and can seek help from an agency.
The other most important aspect is money. Are you in a position to provide the best of living to both your kids and also will you be able to support their higher education. It is obvious that you would never differentiate between the two but do sit with your spouse take a decision only after considering your current expenses and savings. It has to be a mutual decision.
Make sure your first child is ready for this and if there is an age gap it would be much better. Ideal age gap would be between 3 to 4 years. Constantly talk with your first born to make them feel secure. Also if you are living with your in-laws make sure they spend a lot of time with your first born, because after you had your second child it is only logical even if you try really hard you would be able to give as much time as you did earlier. The husband in this situation has to chip in with regards to time spend with your first born because if you make them feel secure and comfortable life will be that much easier.
Agreed upon the fact that mother is the one who goes through all the hardships during pregnancy but husbands do play an important part as well. A lot of things that you have been taking care of for a while now your husband would have to step in to take those responsibility. Simply if you have been doing all the grocery shopping pass on this responsibility to your husband now. If your husband has some long business trip planned or is too occupied with some project at work, let him get over with it. He cannot let go his work commitments and you for sure would need him to be there all along.
One thing that never stops in Indian society is constant nagging from within the family first to get married, than have baby and then a second baby as they say to complete the family. You may agree or not but if you have a daughter there would be constant pressure to plan a second baby in hope for a baby boy. But don’t ever get disturbed by such talks. Boy or a girl doesn’t make a difference there are a lot of other points that you need to consider before planning. Plan only when you think you are prepared for another bundle of joy to come into your life.
Would be Mother
Visit a genealogist, go for some routine checkups. If required take the prescribed medication. You need to be in the best of your health as that really affects the baby. The doctor may prescribe a few multi vitamin and some other medicines as per your health report. Always make sure your husband accompanies you when you go for a checkup.
Children are the gift of god. If you really think you are ready for it and really looking forward to an addition to your family, take the plunge. It has always been and always will be a life changing experience.
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